I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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