is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
