I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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