i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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