Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
