did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
