remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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