Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
