I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
