windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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