Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
