you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
