Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
