He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
