it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
