There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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