D3 body, D1 cock
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
