And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
