I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Sober January is a disaster.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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