You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
