You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
