if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
