you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
