he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
