im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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