What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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