I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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