oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
operation harelip BJ is a go
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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