Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
