My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
