I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
