Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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