are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
