I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
