TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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