There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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