just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
