i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
