its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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