i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I know her cup size but not her name....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
