Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
