That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
