I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize