we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize