I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
