you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
