She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
