Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
