About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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