It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
