3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
