my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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