You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
