i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
