how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
