how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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