like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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