Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
