do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
two words...techno handjob
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
