3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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