I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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