Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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