You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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