I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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