found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
