I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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